no one knows my sorrow,
only wishing for a better tomorrow.
fixing a heart and saving a smile,
true happiness- it’s been awhile.
creeping sadness comes to live,
within my poor soul, i’m forced to believe.
reality smacks like cold hard rock,
it’s time i took a quiet long walk.
Sometimes, it’s not that humans cannot be trusted. It’s the words they use, those cheap words. I’ll be here forever or I want no one else but you. If you ask me, I regard them as lies. I regard them as things I cannot believe anymore. What made me lose faith in love? It is the fact that words are thrown around so easily. What happened to promises? Promises of being faithful, being loyal, being honest. They say trust is the most essential in a relationship. But what happened to honesty?
Sometimes I wonder if people tell lies or hide away truths just so that they won’t hurt their partner, or they think that they will hurt their partner less that way. But no, it’s not true. People think they can control feelings and control the way their partner feels. People think they can do what they want without sparing a thought for others. Yes, all humans are selfish and only think of themselves and care only about their own consequences. But they forget to stop and think, and put themselves in the shoes of others.
Sometimes I tell myself, give up. Love isn’t gonna happen to you. All it does is disappoint. A disappointment overwrites a promise that easily. It’s just like how telling someone you love them and stabbing them in the back later has a big difference. Both strong impacts, but one with the lasting impact. Humans tend to remember all the negative things anyway.
Never hide the truth, or it will hide the one you love away from you forever.
nothing would have turned out differently.
if you were chuck and i were blair, we could have been the chuck and blair, but we wouldn’t be the chuck and blair who got married. we wouldn’t have lasted and we wouldn’t have become what we are today. strangely, when i rewatched gossip girl season 2 that day, i could’t help but to think about last time, when we actually thought that we could have something, but we never did. we didn’t even do anything about it.
everyone thought you were the first person i would turn to, just like how blair would turn to chuck for help. but they were wrong, i have many others i could rely on much more than you. everyone thought that with my reputation, you would be good for me, or good with me. they were wrong, we never would have been good for each other. chuck and blair had their fun for a few seasons before blair met louis and got engaged to him, before chuck could propose.
if we were chuck and blair, you would be the one having girls by your side and i would be the manipulative one who can get any guy i want to do anything for me. you know it, and i know it.
but we were the chuck and blair who never officially made it together and never will.
M.
tucked beneath her smile,
slipped between her teeth,
trapped beneath her soul,
the tears began to roll.
The kitten stood in between her two friends, the lion and the tiger. Strong enough to eat her, but they wouldn’t. Kitty was scared, not knowing why she is feeling lost without her favourite toy. Back in the past, when she wasn’t given the toy, she was joyous and ecstatic every day. The toy was a gift, and it was a curse. It brought her misery and tears, and yet, the kitten loved it. She was forced to throw it away, for it would lead her to greater misery, and towards the dark side. However, never did she anticipate that lion and tiger would argue over this.
Lion felt that the toy was a gift of curse, portraying dark magic and hypnotising sadness that was somewhat addictive. It was right that it was thrown away, for it would not have done any good to maintain it in possession. The kitten nodded in agreement, accepting readily that it did make her very sad. Tear shed were not little, it could fill up an entire river.
Tiger felt that death was the answer. Straight-faced and blatantly suggesting death, Tiger could not accept any other option. You listened to Lion, and you made a decision that you regret, thus you shall be punished with death. Harsh words burnt the ears of the kitten, scorching the heart of the kitten. The kitten nodded sadly, agreeing that perhaps there will be no other route to make up for what she has done.
As her heart sank, the kitten sat in a corner and allowed the little stream to flow from her sparkly bright eyes. Faced with a dilemma that she refused to pursue further, what has been done has been done, there was no point of salvation and no purpose in seeking treatment. The toy, filled with life, was gone, and could no longer be retrieved.
What are you guys fighting for. What are you guys arguing for. The kitten whimpered softly.
Tags: melloke
gone too far,
left a scar.
drenched in the rain,
never the same again.
M.
that doll in her hand,
a thought in mind she can’t stand.
she never fails to think,
better bring her to a shrink.
fist clenched with sweat,
pushing away things that’ll upset.
including loved ones and friends,
trying hard to make amends.
answering to herself,
at the end it’s not about wealth.
it’s about the life experience,
not the cocktails and ambience.
a memory she won’t forget,
an image that makes her sweat.
erase it, get rid of it, disappointment arise,
her own disappointment she realise, through all those deep lies.
M.
Tags: melloke
tucked beneath her smile,
which hasn’t appeared in awhile,
lies a secret she could never tell.
oh, she’ll never tell.
counting the times she felt at ease,
letting her worries cease,
you’ll understand if you know her well.
oh, you know her too well.
she says her life is in a mess,
there’s no room for any recess,
to her, it’s a living hell.
oh, reality’s a living hell.
misunderstood and an outcast,
not sure how long this would last,
no one understands for she wouldn’t tell.
oh, her secret she’ll never tell.
M.
outstanding perfection,
beautiful eyes and naked lies,
shameless eloquence.
Tags: melloke
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